CenterLeft.net

Last night I was at Disneyland. It wasn’t happy Disneyland though, it was angry Disneyland. I was babysitting some children while I waited for my girlfriend to come into town and the kid friendly sections of the park were starting to wear on me.

When I had finally had enough we were already in the line for Alligator Attack! The brand new ride with the 3 hour wait. We were strapped into the ride, but I got really antsy and had to get out of there. As the ride was running, it came to a pause and I took my chance. I climbed out of the car and slid down a fake vine.

Walking out of ride I was met by security and escorted away. I thought I was free… finally. But no. That’s not how it works in the Magic Kingdom. You don’t just get booted on your ass out the front door. They escorted me back to a little room in the club house and made me wait there for a long time. When they came back, they explained to me that they controlled the town and I would be in jail for a long time.

I got angry. I got indignant. I finally broke down and started to cry. I explained that I just wanted to get out and see my girlfriend.

But, none of this moved them. The next thing I know I’m locked in the magic dungeon. After a while my captors came in, but this time they had all changed into robots and they started beating me up. They were bright, shiny robots, with big feet that they kept using to step on me.

Eventually they were satisfied that I had learned my lesson.
I thanked them and they let me go.

So, I went and played capture the flag behind enemy lines in a combat zone. (Where I was chased by a trained pig, a hungry panther, and I learned how to make a DQ blizzard.)